EP03: Dating Advice For Women Over 45

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After taking my “Hacking Online Dating” course online, Marilyn Sutherland decided to create a similar course for single women 45 years old and over looking to find a great partner.

As part of her course, she thought it would be a great idea to ask me a few questions on the topic as additional learning material to her future students.

I told her I have zero experience dealing with her demographic but that I would be happy to provide my own view on these questions.

Here are the questions I answer in this episode:

1. Most of my students are independent – have good jobs, successful in their career. Some have strong and powerful personalities but many of them feel like if they show up strong and competent, most men are not as interested – maybe they intimidate men because they are successful or the man is passive and the women tend to take charge and then feel like they are running the relationship instead of a partnership. Or the man wants to be the boss and doesn’t like the woman being independent.
   Any ideas on how to navigate this?
2. Most of my students don’t want to have sex right away – they want to get to know the man first. Some are not comfortable flirting – they feel like flirting sends a message I’m interested in you and invites a more sexually aggressive response from the man that they don’t want until they know they like the guy.
   Any ideas on how to translate this part of your course for women in that age range? Or are there other approaches you know of that might be more successful?
3. Several have done a little online dating but didn’t find it very satisfying. I’d love for you to share about your experience and hear how you embraced the journey.
4. Wanted to get your insight and ideas about women who are older and may or may not want marriage but want a committed monogamous partner. And many of the woman want to start as “friends” or take it slower and not jump right into bed.
5. I think the available men in this age range who are healthy, well-adjusted men who are a match for the successful women are limited. Any comments on how to navigate this.
   I think several of the women hang on to a guy who is decent but definitely not for them just because they want some male companionship.
6. Most women complain guys just text back but don’t seem to want to talk on the phone. How could the women handle that so they could start talking sooner to see if there’s a match?
   What could they text the men?
7. Would you talk about the danger of having a very specific and long list of what you want? I love how you shared in the course about your wife being taller than you and if she had a height requirement that was mandatory she would never have responded much less married you. I think hearing this from a man would be powerful.
8. Guidance on how to be safe when meeting and dating strangers. When do you give them your home address?
9. Guidance on how to tell if the guy is lying about being married.
10. What are the clues when men are looking for sex and not a friend/relationship? Several said they didn’t feel men wanted a true partnership as much as company and someone to take care of them.
11. A lot of the women complain that the men want to come over and get dinner cooked but don’t initiate doing anything. Several called the men they meet “lazy.” What do you think of that? Any suggestions to navigate this?
12. In this older age range, what do you think are the key differences and similarities between men and women’s dating desires?

You can check out the “Hacking Online Dating Course” on Udemy at: https://grumo.com/hod

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