Ay caramba! I can’t believe how far we’ve come.
Me, a 5′-6″ bug-eyed Merxican has been elected by you to run this 300 million plus country for the next 4 years.
Oh, I’m not Merxican but I know a large percentage of you don’t know the difference between isPain and Merxico so it’s fine. I’m not offended. You can look it up on Gorgle after you spend the next 16 hours glued to your Farcebook feed.
Anyway, Merxico, IsPain, taco, burrito, tomato, potato, chorizo, morcilla de arroz, who cares.
The important thing here is that I’m going to Make Armerica Great Again!
The first thing I’m going to do is meat-grind all Merxicans that are not me.
And then, the rest of the world that is not Armerican.
You see, the fastest way to become number one in the world is to run a one man race.
After we make sausages and hamburger patties with the flesh of the 7 billion non-Armericans we will have food to feed us for eternity.
We will throw the biggest BBQ party in history and keep watching Nerflix and stuffing our faces with infidel meat until the average Armerican weighs 300 lbs which is a about 5% less than today.
How long this will take?
Well, let me know how long it takes to punch in these nuclear codes… I-LOVE-MICKEY-MOUSE and WALMART-IS-GOD…
Done! in about 30 minutes all the non-Armerican meat will be cooked using only 1% of our available nuclear infidel cooking power.
We knew this was coming, we were prepared. The other 99% percent of nuclear heads are there just in case we need to cook some alien meat when we colonize Armdromeda.
Consequences? none amigos. The stupider you are the less you can worry about consequences.
In fact, I’ve lobotomized 60% of my brain so I cannot worry about anything anymore.
And you know what, the less I know, the happier I am.
Of course, if anything goes wrong… well… your taxes will take care of it.
Gracias y adios!
P.S: You didn’t vote for me? no problem, you still have a chance to avoid the BBQ by subscribing to more of these presidential messages HERE.
P.2: If you missed last week’s message you can read it HERE.
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